"Do you not understand? I may die in this cell tonight or in the arena tomorrow. I am a slave. What possible difference can I make!"

In the movie the Gladiator there is one scene where Maximus is chained up talking with Princess Lucia.  Maximus says to Lucia,” Do you not understand? I may die in this cell tonight or in the arena tomorrow.  I am a slave. What possible difference can I make!

Lucia responds,” Today I say a slave become more powerful than the E

mperor of Rome.”

I am just a girl from Southampton Massachusetts but I have this vision. I have this dream. How strong am I? How far can I go? What will I learn?

 “What possible difference can I make!”?

After my session this past week with Tyreso I was on the buss home and I felt so genuinely happy. I can’t explain it.  My heart was almost racing. I could not sit still thinking about everything that has happened and everything that is about to happen.  My mind wandered back..

You’re too small.. You’re not strong enough.. Your will never play again.. You are wasting your time.. You should just quit..

Words that I know to well and have heard to often but also words I never believed in.  Now I am in Sweden living the impossible dream; working for it everyday.

We have had a few games; one game against my old club IFK Gavle.  It was a great game and my team had one of our best games of the season. We played as one and we got the win. It was fun to play against IFK and it was great seeing them all again!

 Then we played against Bele Barkarby in Stockholm. The field was not in the best condition but I try not to complain about that because both teams have to play on it. We started the game off well but it was not connecting as it did when we played against Gavle… Passes were a little off and we were a step behind at times.  

Things were not going our way but everyone kept fighting.  We lost the battle. Bele Barkaby played well, but we are a better team; we just had a bad day.

 Soccer, as in life is a bunch of little battles; you have good days and you have bad days. Barkarby had a very good day and deserved to win the game.

Now, we have had time to regroup, refocus and got ready to take on the leader in our series Bollstanas. It was on our home ground!!

The game against Bollstanas was exciting. We had some good combinations and created some opportunities but did not finish our chances. Bollstanas is a strong talented team and we fought.  We were down 4-0 in the second half and I scored in the last 15 minutes. The game ended at 4-1. 

Yesterday we had a home game against Roslagsbro.  Thinking about the past two losses I was hungry for a win.  We control our own destiny. I want those three points. I felt in the moment and had a good feeling.  I thought about my role, my strengths and how I can impact the team. 

We scored very classy goals. The first goal came off of a good combination and a perfect pass across the goal for Anna (our forward) to finish it off. The next goal was similar.  I had a few looks on goal. I took a shot outside the 18, I hit it just right, I already had my arms in the air in celebration but then it was ruined by the crossbar/post  (note to self don’t play crossbar challenge all week with my kids before a game)

 In the second half we kept our lead and played very well defensively.  In the last 10 minutes of the game Lina had a nice breakaway with two defenders to beat, I made a run through and Lina played me a perfect ball so I was one on one with the goalkeeper. I placed it and then I could finally throw my arms up in the air in celebration. It was Lina’s goal… without that perfect pass I would not have scored.  It was a great game for us; we played well offensively and got a shut out defensively!! It is coming together and getting better and better every game!!

This month has been, not even month but my time in Sweden so far this year has gone beyond my expectations.  I feel as if everyday I have a new story to tell or a new adventure to go on.  I think back again.. 

You’re too small.. You’re not strong enough.. Your will never play again.. You are wasting your time.. You should just quit..

“What possible difference can I make?!”

I want to be the one everyone goes to on the field, the one to make a difference; both as a player and as a coach.  I will always take the risk!  Now I’m here. I’m here, Continuing to Dream, Do and Believe.

"Don'tcha wanna dance, say you wanna dance, don'tcha wanna dance"

There have been so many exciting things happening. Everyday is a new adventure, a new story to tell.  My training with Tyresö last week was phenomenal; the focus was in the final third and finishing.  We played small sided the last 15 minutes of training and the soccer was fantastic.  The image I had in my mind on how the game should be played had really come to life… The play reeked of TikiTaka and it was so much fun to watch.  My groups in Tyreso consist of talent groups of different ages and different teams within the club; through the time I have had them so far I have seen a massive improvement. They all have developed as a player and as a “team”.  There is a feeling that they are one; “One team, One Tyresö.” 

                                          

TikiTaka has also just recently partnered with Olympen Skolan. It is a huge partnership! Olympen is starting their first football school.   The school could not be in a more perfect location. They are located between Stadion, which is one of the most beautiful stadiums in Stockholm, and a beautiful soccer complex, Ostermalms IP.  I am playing a big role in this partnership and the experience so far is amazing! I am included in all the decisions and have a say in the publications and press.

One day I had a meeting with the Principle of the school, the director of sports and the communications manager.  I actually dressed up very professionally for the meeting. I felt good showing up for the meeting in “business attire” Usually my “business attire” involves shorts, a tee-shirt and soccer cleats; (nothing better than knowing you get paid to play or coach and that the field is your office.) Dressing up was a nice little mix up and it made everything feel even more special. I met everyone and after 20 minutes they asked me to change into my soccer clothes...  They wanted to do a photo shoot for different ads and so forth.  I thought is was pretty funny; I only lasted 20 minutes in my so called “business attire” until I changed into what I belong in!

 I had two open TikiTaka sessions with Olympen; anyone is welcome. They are attracting kids from all over Sweden.  In my first session we had kids from Lulea; which is way up north.  This past Friday I ran another open session. Before the session was held, Olympen invited me to their “Olympen Games” The Olympen games is a whole day event filled with dancing, competitions and more. It was like a giant field day.  It was so much fun!!! Olympen is also starting a school of dance and their focus is on Street Dance.  The girl in charge of the dance school put the kids through a routine at the beginning and at the end.  It was incredible; she had a stage set up and there were over 200 kids jumping, dancing, singing, and clapping, I have never seen anything like it. It looked like a raging concert full of little kids!!

I was up next! I was lucky enough to have some incredible guests with me; Tyresö FF’s players Vero Boquete, Meghan Klingenberg and Christen Press joined the session.  They are all World-class players and they all had such a positive impact on the session!! It was great for the kids; they got to witness greatness firsthand and meet some great female role models.  It was so much fun having them there! They have joined my Talent groups at Tyresö as well and I am extremely grateful.

I started the session with my “dance with the ball” I love dancing with the ball! It’s a very different type of training but to me soccer is a dance; it is a game full of different rhythms. There are individual rhythms, team rhythms etc. If you can find your “rhythm” you are going to succeed. The players were getting really into it! The DJ playing my music told me in the beginning that he was only going to play one song and then he had to shut down and pack up. He ended up playing six songs…   The reporter for a soccer magazine joined the session; he interviewed me before and told me he would stay for the first 10 minutes of the session and then head out. He ended up staying the whole time… The DJ and the reporter caught the fever as well!! When the music stopped I focused on one on one’s and attacking the space on a dribble and a pass.  I think the kids got a ton out of it and learned a lot. Then I ended with some team building exercises. 

Parents, players and coaches came up and thanked Tyresö players and I for the session.  I had one parent come up to me and say that her son is really interested in this football school.  She told me that her son has been discouraged from soccer lately and is not having very much fun. He said that he might not want to play anymore. She told her son to come and try out my session.  Then she said to me, “I have not seen my son this happy with football or anything in a long time. He looks like he loves it again.” Those words are proof of a beyond successful session!! That was the best feedback I could have asked for.   We talked for a little while and I told her our TikiTaka philosophies and so fourth and her son is extremely interested in coming to the school. He found the fire again!!!

The day was done and I was sitting on the bus back to my Stockholm home thinking and recapping on the session, everything about the day and almost could not help but smile.

Another blog will come shortly about my adventure as a player. I am excited to announce that my good friend and Former Florida Southern Teammate Morgan Sammons has signed for Gustafs and is here in Sweden J More to come!!

“You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one..." John Lennon

Joy, Happiness, Hope.  Joy in playing the game, happiness within the game.  Hope, hope within the game and hope in something more, new opportunities, something great; hope in a common goal, hope in a dream and the spread of that hope, happiness and joy. 

“Jackie, we are coming to your game. We need it! We need something good.”  

My team had a game this past weekend in Stockholm against Vasalunds IF. It was at a beautiful stadium and it was a beautiful day.  I saw Fredric, the director of Tyreso, Emma; who I coach with and her dad.  I then saw Therese, her parents (the family I stay with in Stockholm) Jesper, Martina and August all in the stands.  I was so happy to see them all there! 

                          

We scored early on; I split two defenders and our outside mid Ronja sent a perfect cross to our other outside mid, Lina, who made a great run into the box and finished it first time on a volley.  It was a classy goal!! Vasalunds fought back hard; I was impressed with them. My team had some times of great combinations and we created some solid opportunities. It may not have been out prettiest game but we held on and the game ended at 1-0. 

My dad told me when I was younger that when I am making a run into the box trying to score, that it “doesn’t always have to be pretty. A goal is a goal.” That is how the game was on Sunday; not our “prettiest” game but I am proud of my team for sticking together and getting the win! “A win is a win!” This is the first of many three points to come this season!

I met my little Swedish family after the game and everyone seemed so happy talking about the game and just everything.  Again, it was like I lived this moment before. I know I am in the right place.

Sometimes I can’t help it and my mind brings me back to different places and events in my past.  So much has happened… There are so many different stories to tell and I promise one day I will write a book.  After thinking back for only a second I started thinking about all the great things that have happened; all the things I enjoy such as just simply playing the game, taking a walk, exploring a new place, a coffee in the sun with a friend… 

 It is an amazing game. It brings people together from all over the world and from all different types of backgrounds.  The excitement, passion and joy is contagious… You almost can’t help it.  The game this past Sunday brought “something good.” I want to be the one to make the difference, bring that joy, that excitement, that happiness, and that hope… Whether it be as a player or as a coach. 

“Njut och känn Glädje” (Enjoy and feel happiness)

Life as a coach

Coaching for TikiTaka has been better than I expected! I am working with Tyresö, Vendelsö and starting a new project with Olympen Skolan! My first day with Vendelso we were short one coach.  I asked one of my best friends and my old Swedish teammate at Florida Southern, Hanna Jansson if she could join.  When I first sent the message out Hanna responded right away and even left her work early.  We arrived to the field, met the coaches and worked with the Vendelsö girls. The players were awesome and Hanna was absolutely incredible with the kids. The energy was high, the session was fun and it was truly special.  It had a nice Swedish American twist that was unique because it was a session run by two girl coaches.  We received nothing but extremely positive feedback and were on a high after the session!

 

We were waiting for the bus back and then the bus did not stop for us… I guess the driver didn’t see us. It took my “high” away a little bit because it was late, cold and I was ready to be home but then my wise friend Hanna said, “If we are going to have to wait we might as well make the best of it. Lets train!!” (My high came back) We started running sprints behind the bus stop, did some quick feet on the sidewalk, squats and core.  It was so much fun and it made me happy we missed the bus! When something doesn’t go right something better might come along. I am happy that bus did not stop for us.  I enjoyed every second of those 15 minutes we had to wait!

On the subway I could not help smiling thinking about the session, “missing the bus”, and Hanna. My mind brought me back to when I first met Hanna. She came on a recruiting visit to Florida Southern and stayed for a whole week. Hanna and I hit it off right away.  When she was leaving to go back to Sweden I was also leaving to go on Spring break. We were sitting in the terminal together and I was talking to her about coming to Florida, soccer and everything. We probably talked for two hours. Hanna came to Florida Southern and I have some of my best memories with her.  Now look at us. We are in Sweden and get to coach together. It amazes me!!

 There are some people that come into your life that you don’t want to ever let go of. They are special people that you know you will always be friends with no matter where life takes you; friends that you know will always find a way to do anything for you and will always be there… I am lucky to say I found a lot of those people at Florida Southern and a lot of them live right here in Sweden; Hanna is one of them!

Life as a player

Yesterday was our series premier!!! I was ready for the game and I could sense my team was as well!  Our first challenge was against Tierp! I have played Tierp in the past and they are a strong team.

The warm up was good and I felt ready to go. The first whistle blew and Tierp was in control. They scored early on and 20 minutes into the game it was 3-0. We regrouped and fought back and finished the second half.  I was nervous but I refuse to give up and not go for it.  What do you have to lose if you don’t go for it? If you don’t put your whole self out there? Take the chance? Fight until the very end? Give everything you have?  I was focused on getting one goal; once we got one, go for the next and so on; just take it one step at a time.

My team came out in the second half as a new team! We created chances and scored an incredible goal. We combined to the end line, the ball was cut back and it was finished perfectly by our forward Tyra. Tierp had some dangerous corners but our keeper took control! With about ten minutes left of the game. Fanny (our left back) and I ran a short corner and chipped it to Isabelle who found the back of the net. My blood was really pumping at this point. I grabbed the ball from the net and sprinted back to midfield. Tierp was nervous now and they became quite frantic. We had a few more chances but did not finish. The game ended 3-2.. I don’t like losing but in this case I almost feel like we did not lose. I was so proud to be apart of my team. I was so proud of how everyone fought back and really went until the final whistle. Tierp is a solid team with some talented players I think it is an extremely positive sign for the season.  We are one, we are one Gustafs and together we are going to go very far.

Before the game I got a text from boss Borje from TikiTaka. He said, “Njut OCH känn Glädje”  “Enjoy and feel happiness” There were a lot of people at the game yesterday and a lot of my old teammates from Gavle. It was so nice seeing them all!!  After the game I felt like my team and I could hold our heads up high.  I really enjoyed playing; it was an intense and exciting match.  I felt a sense of happiness that just made me love this great game even more!  It is about enjoying the game, feeling happiness, and spreading it so others such as teammates, players, and fans can feel the same joy.

 Extra

I was in the newspaper the other day. Here is the link to the article. 

http://www.dt.se/sport/1.5791987-amerikansk-bolltrollare-ska-starka-gustafs  

*I have been extremely busy and am behind on some of my blogs but they are coming up soon!!