TODAY is game day!! I have my usual routine
and pre-game preparations but TODAY is different then other game days… TODAY
will be my “last” game as a player at this level. I am retiring.
A message to a friend…
“... on the plane I drew a plan.. I really thought, "What
do I want?" My chart became clear and I really see it. My mind felt clear
and I was full of energy. I looked at my "Chart" and I decided I need
to make a change. I need to take a step.. So I made a decision. I have been this “player first and coach
second” for so long. but now I am ready just to be a coach..
Yesterday after training I met with my coach
and I told him I need to stop playing.. I will "retire" so I can
focus on what really drives me, what really makes me feel full…”
From my coach…
“I see your passion when you coach, everyone
stops when you speak. I understand you. I would like you to play tomorrow. Tell
the girls at practice Monday. Then have your last practice on Tuesday and make
that the best practice you have ever had. Give everything you have so they see
you leaving this “legacy” this “Career” on a high note and a high note to go
for something bigger. Leave behind your standard!! Then play your “last” game
on Sunday as a player and leave one final statement to the team and to
yourself!”
The thoughts I wrote down after my last home game…
“Today was great. I felt good and enjoyed it.
We won!! My coach took me off and said
“You know why?” I said “yes” He said “Enjoy watching what you brought.” I
watched and then saw myself training on this field with some of the best
players in the world, I saw myself playing with my team and the great
wins/games we have had, I saw my team playing right in front of me. This field
where I can say I played my last home game at a high level. I sat there and was
trying not to cry, not of sadness but of happiness.. I am proud of what I have done and I am ready
to take this next step. No one knows of this “retirement” and when the game was
over everyone was already looking forward to the next game. This is my style. A
quiet person that speaks loudly… Today I played my last home game for the right
reasons. This game that has done so much for me.. The person that really
mattered was myself. I did not play for anyone or anything else other than my
team and myself. I played my last home
game for me, for my love of the game!
To my Team…
“My mind is very clear the clearest it has been in a long time.
I started to write down what I want and I really see it. I want to be a
champions league coach, a national team coach and change the way the world sees
the game... I ended up drawing this whole plan and all the steps to get there..
I feel full even talking about it. My heart is here... I am deciding to retire
as a player and focus on where my heart is.. Really give this 100% this vision
and dream.
Last year with I lost myself as a player and thought that was it
for me. My time was done.. All my joy as
a player was lost then I came back here to Tyreso and my joy multiplied and I
fell in love with this great game again as a player. I started playing again
for the right reasons. Now I still have this joy and my biggest joy as a player is playing with you guys and just being
around you guys!!!
I see my new vision so
clearly and I have opportunities to travel and learn from different clubs all
over Europe. Maybe something will come out of it I don't know. I can possibly
go to England to get my next License. I feel I really need to take this in full
heartedly now. This really drives me. It scares me because honestly I have no
idea what can happen. Nothing could happen or anything can happen. I feel like
I am "jumping" and have no idea if there is a place to land… but I am
ready to take this jump. If I fall I will climb up and jump again!
The
team we have is great and I know u will reach this goal and make it up to D1
this year. I believe that with everything I have!! I will practice today and
then have my last practice tomorrow and play my last game Sunday.
The
"player" side of me has been such a big part of my life for so long..
You have no idea how much you all mean to me and I am so happy to call my
"last" team as a true player with you all!!! I couldn't ask it in any
better way!!!”
“Because that is what
people do.. They leap and they hope to God they can fly”
After this talk I felt so right.. I was on
the field all day but I was not tired..
When I am on the right path things feel light, things feel easy. I get
this feeling when I know I am doing the right thing. “Every journey begins with
a first step” I have taken many steps but now I took my “new first step” and
full heartedly decided this is what I am going to do. This is what I want. I
see the way and will be the best coach the world has seen!
I will
play my last game at a “high” level today with a team I love. Thank you to all
my current and former teammates, my current and former coaches, colleagues, my
friends and most importantly my family for all the support, experiences, and
everything you have taught me. Thank you
for sharing this amazing journey and being apart of this amazing story that has
a lot more to be written. Today I play
not only for myself but also for you all!!
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