Do you BELIEVE in Magic? "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it"

I’m on the bus and my mind wanders…

5 Minutes

The most important part of a game is the first five minutes of each half, the last 5 minutes of each half and the first five minutes after a goal is scored. 

The game is 90 minutes long but in these particular moments, these particular 5 minutes within the game so much can happen…

My team scored a goal and within 90 seconds our opponent had not one, but three pretty good chances to get the goal back… In just 90 seconds our opponent had three chances to completely change the game!

I think of just this year and I think, ‘so much has happened.’ So much has happened every single year… Does this much happen to everyone?! If I just look at the past events from January its like I am living in those “5 minutes of the game” all the time.

There are 90 minutes in a game but then you really only remember certain moments, minutes or seconds. 

Just like in life there are moments you will never forget. There are 525,600 minutes in a year but then there are certain moments, certain minutes and certain seconds you will never forget.

For example…

“Jackie your surgery came undone! Jackie my father died. I have cancer!  I’m going through a divorce! I quit! My brother died! They are taking the house! We have no money! I need help.” 

You have these horrific moments…

But then you have these moments that take your breath away in another way… You have these GREAT MOMENTS

“Your lungs are the best I’ve seen. You’re at 88%. You survived. We want you to come to Tyresö. I got the job. I booked a trip. Were getting married. You passed the test. We did it! Were in the final!! They invited me! We won Champions League!!! Surfing. That perfect wave. A simple coffee with a friend. I scored! Surprise! You’re here! ”

It could be a goal, a person, training, a place, a great day, a great night, a conversation…

There is so much bad that happens every day, so much horror whether its losing a loved one, losing a home, going through a divorce, losing your job or so on.. But then there are moments, moments of pure joy where you are completely taken away.

I’m on the bus home thinking about practice today, thinking about these girls and this group and I am full. We are training and I get so excited I lose track of time. It is a place where you almost do not want to leave. A place where even if it is just for 90 minutes nothing else exists and your are surrounded by pure happiness.  An escape..

 Hold on to these moments of joy, cherish them and enjoy every second and when you do feel down “replay” them. When are you happiest? Put yourself in that position. Play your best foot by putting yourself in those places and surrounding yourself with those people! 

My mind wanders again…  I’m thinking about my 5 minutes and I think about a very special moment in Barcelona.

The Shorts

I was recently with FC Barcelona women’s team. I went to the training wearing an old pair of Nike shorts with the number 23 on them and one of the players, Leire Landa came to me and started pulling on my shorts and speaking very fast in Spanish..

I had no idea what she was saying but she was pointing to my shorts..

I said “yo no say”

Then she said “Nice number! The best! My number! My number!! Trade?”

I said, “yes! Those shorts?” pointing at the Barcelona shorts

She said “No national team”

Then I came back to the field that afternoon and she gave me her world cup shorts!!

I asked her, “ why is this number so important to you? You are not number 23. You are number 3!! “

She told me her story in Spanish/Spanglish. I understood most of what she said but I asked after to make sure I got it right.

When she was 10 years old she was diagnosed with cancer... After enduring chemotherapy she lost all of her hair.  She was ashamed of her hair loss and did not want to play.

Then there was this player in Barcelona named Ivan de la Peña is known for playing with his bald head. He became her inspiration and helped her overcome the “shame” she had.  Pena was number 23…

Hearing this story gives me goose bumps again just writing about it.. A player who was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 10, endured chemotherapy and just PLAYED IN THE WORLD CUP THIS PAST SUMMER WITH SPAIN AND IS NOW PLAYING WITH FC BARCELONA… HOW CAN ANYONE SAY SOMETHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!  I am completely honored to have traded shorts with her.

A moment I will never forget… I think of “moments” and my mind drifts one last time on this bus from Tyreso to Gullmarsplan.

My youth team

We are jumping over hurdles. They see the hurdle.

“Jackie this is to high. I can’t jump over this.”

Right when you say “You cant” you limit yourself in ever being able to jump over the hurdle your body literally shuts down.

I stopped the training and I said…

“If you don’t believe in magic how will you ever find magic”

“If you don’t believe you can jump over the hurdle you never will be able to jump over the hurdle.”

“If you don’t believe you will achieve it you will never achieve it. If you don’t believe you are the best how can you become the best?!”

“The moment where you doubt you can fly, you cease for ever being able to do it.”-Peter Pan

Every player jumped over the hurdle.

Impossible?? What is the definition? 

I have a big dream. I am dreaming the great dream.  I see it. I see myself becoming a Champions league coach and a National team coach. I see myself standing in front of 90,000 people in a champions league final screaming from the side. I see myself coaching and winning the World Cup and making a huge change within this great game. 

But with a great dream comes great adversity.

“You are crazy!”” You are making a big mistake.” (I get this so much)

I’m sure many reading this now are thinking I am crazy!

 

Or I hear “you have it all figured out. Its so easy for you.”  so I just smile and think “I have nothing figured out and nothing is easy”

I know its countless hours to become that “overnight success” 

"When 90% of people doubt your idea you are either gravely wrong or about to make history"

I think of Leire Landa again, this inspirational girl who survived cancer and played a world cup and is now playing with Barcelona Impossible.. How can someone say something is impossible after hearing this story? What right do they have to say what is possible and what is not?  If you have something in your heart never doubt that you can “fly” or “jump” over a hurdle, whatever it may be.   

It is scary because you with this great dream I will work so hard for something that could never be but I am ready to take the chance. I am ready to fly!

The Gothia Cup Miracle

Some stories are special… This story is one of amazing leadership, a fight, a comeback, a struggle, heroes, an upset, a transformation, glory, and a champion…

I talked a lot about the “MIRACLE US hockey team” and one of the coaches came up to me before the final and said, “This whole journey was incredible... What did you do? This is the Gothia Cup Miracle!!”

Chapter 1: The beginning

After some tactics I write three things on the board.

Opportunity: “Right here right NOW”

Believe: “To be a champion you must believe you are the best. If not pretend you are.” PLAY THE BEST FOOT!

ONE: “We got a better chance of survival if we work together. If we work together we survive”

We have an Opportunity “right here and right now” to play our strengths both individually and as a team. We must BELIEVE in the system, each other and most importantly ourselves and play not only your “Best Foot” but also your “teams” best foot. Everyone has a Role bring your strength today! We are ONE Tyreso ONE Team!

Chapter 2: The struggle

My coaching style is a very possession, creative, attacking style of play. My players know exactly what is expected of them and exactly what connections we are searching for! In the first few games we found the connections but could not finish.. We played beautiful soccer and would lose 1-0 against a direct team with one or two fast forwards.. Numerous refs, opposing coaches, fans, etc. would come up to me and say Wow what fantastic soccer your team plays. It is to bad you didn’t get the win.. You deserved it. Unlucky…” 

Why can’t we finish?? We create so many chances and are playing beautifully. What is missing?? When we would go down a goal we would still keep up this pace and this beautiful play, we still attacked but couldn’t finish..

I figured out why.. FEAR!!!! FEAR of failure. There is a FEAR of taking the chance because there is a slight risk of failure.

Have the courage to Dare.

Chapter 3: The players

We lost the first 4 games. With the last group game 7-0 against an American team… The worst game we played and the best game the Americans played…

“Its not about getting hit. Its about how hard you get hit and keep moving forward.“

 (I hate this I want to quit)

“Do you just quit when things get tough? You don’t hate this game.. You hate losing.. No one plays like you do if you hate this game. It would be like going to medical school and not wanting to be a doctor. No one plays like you do if you hate this game. No one goes to medical school if they do not want to be a doctor. No one put that much into it and works that hard if you don’t want something.”

A team takes away individuality but what sports loves is the “hero” and that “hero” actually goes against the team concept.  I tell my players I want you to be that individual but you need to find a way to be the individual within the team. Your team will only lift you up more. Messi can’t be Messi without his team and the team can’t be successful without Messi.

(I don’t want to go in. I am not good enough. If I go in I will mess everything up. She is better than me. I will just disappoint my teammates”)

Every player has a strength. I call each strength and personality my “Weapon.” Each player has a weapon and I need many different weapons to win a war. It doesn’t mean one weapon is better than another. It just means it’s different… When I have you all loaded up I need you to be ready to “fire!!!” Want to play!!! Do not be afraid to make mistakes I rather lose having you try to play the way I am asking then win with you just “kicking it” playing it safe.  Have the courage to Dare!!!!

(I have no role on this team) tournament play round of 16

“I am injured now. I have no role on this team…”

Tears rushing down her face I looked at her and said “you got us where we are now! Now you have to embrace a different role with your teammates, a role where you can lift them up in a positive way off the field. Give them your positive energy that you beam with”

The leadership Moment

Then as she is still crying my Captain comes over looks at her and says “I need help. Can you help me put my Captain band on?” All the tears went away and she smiled and helped her.  The ultimate leadership moment... Seeing a teammate completely destroyed and asking them to help you with a small task that you can clearly do on your own... Asking for “help” in a way to lift them up to show that they do have a role and is needed on this team.  Talk about a hero? I saw one in a 15-year-old girl… I get the Goosebumps writing this now…

 I started to see a transformation. The team started really playing each other’s best foot, playing with a sense of reckless abandonment and an immense amount of trust in each other.  The cover, creativity and combinations took my feet out from underneath me at times. Players became part of the team and embraced their roles and I am happy to say it took players games to a whole new level. I have these visions in my head of these girls combining with her teammates and scoring phenomenal goals, sacrificing her whole heart and soul for this great team we were creating. Truly sacrificing and playing, not just for herself but for her team.. They understood… They “got it” Got what it is about.

Some of these players were a light before but with their team they all became something else... Something Great!! What they have done in three days takes most players months or years.  I have numerous stories of overcoming adversity, moments of leadership, individuals becoming a teammate, complete trust conspiring, weapons ready to be unleashed and players and finding the courage to Dare!!

Chapter 4: Thomas Edison

(Round of 32- first tournament game-win or go home)

On the board I wrote MJ 9000, 300, and 26. I asked the girls who MJ was and some said “Michael Jackson” I laughed and said true but I meant  “Michael Jordan” I asked what do you think these numbers mean.  They didn’t know. Then I wrote.

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost over 300 games. 26 times I have been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. Ive failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeeded.” –MJ

Then I wrote a 700 on the board and TE and asked, “Who invented the light bulb?”  

“I have not failed 700 times.. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work. Once I have eliminated all the ways that will not work I will FIND THE WAY THAT WILL WORK.” –Thomas Edison

We have not failed.. We just succeeded in finding ways that don’t work but today is a different day!! I don’t want this to be our last game. Today we find “Our WAY” to “TURN THE LIGHT ON” and at the end of this game we will stand in a circle arm and arm and it will be our turn to say “HURRA HURRA HURRA”

In the round of 32 we found our way and won on the 6^th PK!!!!!!!!! The round of 16 we kept on our same path with complete focus.  Each round getting better and better…. Then in the semi-finals we played a Danish team, a good team.. The performance in this game left me speechless.. I have this vision and they played in a way I see and know how it should be!! It was creative, passionate, fast, absolutely beautiful, sexy soccer!! Every single player had something to do with a goal. 

These tournament games we took our game to another place... Something was set off.  Every player was playing for something greater than themselves.. Doing everything in their power to make each other look good in the best possible way.  We put on a show!!! We created our chances, took the chances and most importantly finished our chances!! We not only pulled a Thomas Edison and “Turned our light on” Our light was so bright. We blinded everyone in Gothia Cup!!

Chapter 5: Not you’re fairy tale ending

The final!! A comeback!!! We went from losing the first 4 games to winning every tournament game… And not only winning but also beating our opponents with this sexy, classy style of play that you cant keep your eyes off of. A beating where there all the other team could do is shake our hands and say “good game”

10 games in 6 days… My players, my team continued to play our style and fight.. Our opponent was strong as well! That day we did not finish. It was not the “fairy tale ending” I was hoping for.. I have images in my head now of certain players sacrificing themselves to win the ball, combinations, the crowd chanting our name, players sprinting at their max to get in the box for a small possible chance on goal, players completely collapsing of exhaustion when the final whistle blew.. Every player picked each other up we meet in a circle and every player with their heads up high looked at me. I took a deep breath almost ready to cry myself and I said how proud I was of them. In my eyes they are winners. They are true champions. So one last time here in Gothenburg at the Gothia Cup we will come together.  I put my arm up and said, “winners go high” Be proud of what you done. You leave this tournament a champion in another way! I am so proud to wear this Tyreso Jersey and be apart of this team.  We are ONE TYRESO, ONE TEAM!! So, for one last time here, as loud as you can, Tyreso on three.. 1,2,3… and they all screamed TYRESO!!!!!

 We went to receive the medals and trophy and as I watched my players each receive a medal in this stadium. Our whole trip and journey flashed before my eyes; stories of defeat, stories of a comeback, and amazing story of coming together were all in my mind and heart. I thought of Thomas Edison and thought to myself that there is no other team I would want to stand with and next to!! I can’t explain the pride I felt at that moment. I have a different definition of success.  A different definition of what it means to be a champion.

I brought them together and shared my thoughts with them. “How many Swedish teams do what you just did? Have you ever heard of any?!? Even these small stories I have been telling you all week. There is a very small percentage of those teams and athletes that fall into that category!!! Talk about a vision of a champion?? You and this is team are the Vision of a Champion!! This is the story of the Gothia Cup MIRCALE.

So thank you!! Thank you again for giving me one of my best coaching experiences yet!!!

“Maybe its not about the happy ending maybe its about the story”

Gameday. I wake up go, for a light jog and stretch. Eat my usual oatmeal. Take a shower. Head to my usual coffee spot and take an espresso and it’s a moment of peace, a calm before the storm. I head to the locker room and I know ITS TIME!!!

TODAY is game day!! I have my usual routine and pre-game preparations but TODAY is different then other game days… TODAY will be my “last” game as a player at this level. I am retiring.

A message to a friend…

“... on the plane I drew a plan.. I really thought, "What do I want?" My chart became clear and I really see it. My mind felt clear and I was full of energy. I looked at my "Chart" and I decided I need to make a change. I need to take a step.. So I made a decision.  I have been this “player first and coach second” for so long. but now I am ready just to be a coach..

  Yesterday after training I met with my coach and I told him I need to stop playing.. I will "retire" so I can focus on what really drives me, what really makes me feel full…”

From my coach…

“I see your passion when you coach, everyone stops when you speak. I understand you. I would like you to play tomorrow. Tell the girls at practice Monday. Then have your last practice on Tuesday and make that the best practice you have ever had. Give everything you have so they see you leaving this “legacy” this “Career” on a high note and a high note to go for something bigger. Leave behind your standard!! Then play your “last” game on Sunday as a player and leave one final statement to the team and to yourself!”

The thoughts I wrote down after my last home game…

“Today was great. I felt good and enjoyed it. We won!!  My coach took me off and said “You know why?” I said “yes” He said “Enjoy watching what you brought.” I watched and then saw myself training on this field with some of the best players in the world, I saw myself playing with my team and the great wins/games we have had, I saw my team playing right in front of me. This field where I can say I played my last home game at a high level. I sat there and was trying not to cry, not of sadness but of happiness..  I am proud of what I have done and I am ready to take this next step. No one knows of this “retirement” and when the game was over everyone was already looking forward to the next game. This is my style. A quiet person that speaks loudly… Today I played my last home game for the right reasons. This game that has done so much for me.. The person that really mattered was myself. I did not play for anyone or anything else other than my team and myself.  I played my last home game for me, for my love of the game!

To my Team…

“My mind is very clear the clearest it has been in a long time. I started to write down what I want and I really see it. I want to be a champions league coach, a national team coach and change the way the world sees the game... I ended up drawing this whole plan and all the steps to get there.. I feel full even talking about it. My heart is here... I am deciding to retire as a player and focus on where my heart is.. Really give this 100% this vision and dream.

Last year with I lost myself as a player and thought that was it for me.  My time was done.. All my joy as a player was lost then I came back here to Tyreso and my joy multiplied and I fell in love with this great game again as a player. I started playing again for the right reasons. Now I still have this joy and my biggest joy as a player is playing with you guys and just being around you guys!!!

 I see my new vision so clearly and I have opportunities to travel and learn from different clubs all over Europe. Maybe something will come out of it I don't know. I can possibly go to England to get my next License. I feel I really need to take this in full heartedly now. This really drives me. It scares me because honestly I have no idea what can happen. Nothing could happen or anything can happen. I feel like I am "jumping" and have no idea if there is a place to land… but I am ready to take this jump. If I fall I will climb up and jump again!

The team we have is great and I know u will reach this goal and make it up to D1 this year. I believe that with everything I have!! I will practice today and then have my last practice tomorrow and play my last game Sunday.

The "player" side of me has been such a big part of my life for so long.. You have no idea how much you all mean to me and I am so happy to call my "last" team as a true player with you all!!! I couldn't ask it in any better way!!!”

“Because that is what people do.. They leap and they hope to God they can fly”

After this talk I felt so right.. I was on the field all day but I was not tired..  When I am on the right path things feel light, things feel easy. I get this feeling when I know I am doing the right thing. “Every journey begins with a first step” I have taken many steps but now I took my “new first step” and full heartedly decided this is what I am going to do. This is what I want. I see the way and will be the best coach the world has seen!

 I will play my last game at a “high” level today with a team I love. Thank you to all my current and former teammates, my current and former coaches, colleagues, my friends and most importantly my family for all the support, experiences, and everything you have taught me.  Thank you for sharing this amazing journey and being apart of this amazing story that has a lot more to be written.   Today I play not only for myself but also for you all!!