"Sometimes I lay under the moon and I thank god Im breathing, then I pray dont take me soon because I am here for a reason.." Matisyahu

  The demands of soccer can really take a toll on your body. When I got back from Finland I decided to give my body a bit of a break.  It is really hard for me to take a break.  I started exploring different forms off cross training.  In the past I would do things like play tennis, yoga or bike the lake at Florida Southern. Now I am back in Massachusetts.   I joined a local gym; the Northampton Athletic Club.  Its a great gym; they have a wide range of classes, the people are really friendly and they have everything I need.  Since I decided to take a little break from soccer I decided to try things I never thought I would and see what happened. 

The first class I tried was tae kwon do  This was one of the most different types of exercise I have ever done.  The movements where very slow and methodical.  There are many different courtesies and formalities that go along with this class.  Tae kwon do was a great learning experience, but it was not for me. 

The next class I tried was Kickboxing.  The warm up was fun and intense.  The music was blasting, my heart was going and I was having fun.  When I took tae kwon do there was no music and I think that's what I missed.  I like doing things to a beat and a rhythm.  The teacher taught me how to punch and kick properly and then she put the class through a mini circuit.  I learned different combinations to use when I hit the bag, and I was really good at the speed bag.  After the workout was complete I was pretty tired but I wanted to keep going. 

Since kickboxing went so well I decided to try their boxing class.  This class was a smaller class; the teacher showed me how to wrap my hands and we got to work.  My wrists and hands are not the strongest so I never thought I would be good at this, but the wrap and the gloves  serve as great support.  The warm up was good and the instructor taught us different combinations on the bag.  I felt really good this day; the theme song to Rocky came on, my feet were quick and I was putting some power behind my punches.  I was completely in the zone; it was like nothing else existed but me and the bag.  The only other time I feel like this is when I am out on the field.  I was also impressed with the other people in the class; a few of them are older than me but they are working just as hard.  It was a great workout; I was pretty tired afterwards and the next day I was pretty sore. I rarely ever get sore.. I was impressed. 

I'm going to keep trying new things but I will continue to kick box and box until my next adventure.  Both of the classes are a challenge and  I look forward to them. I'm working muscles I don't usually work. This is a perfect type of cross training for me and I think it will help me become a better player as well.

Now I have been starting to get back into soccer.  My lungs

have hit a little bump in the road but I have recovered.  I am slowly getting back into it and building my strength up.  I felt strong enough to go to the field; it was a beautiful day and it was just me and my ball.  I started off by just juggling and dribbling around and then worked on some shooting and free kicks.  Before I knew it a few hours just flew by. It felt so good to be on the field again; every time I hit that little "bump" it makes me appreciate playing even more!  When I was out on the field it was like nothing else around me existed.  Its like I am trapped in this zone; it clears my head.  Its a weird but an incredible feeling; I always get like this on the field; Its the one place where everything feels completely right.       

"She probably believed all her life she could do this. ... People all over the world laughed at that lady when she walked out there, but when she opened her mouth, nobody laughed anymore," he says. "Kind of the same with me." -Alan Moore on Scottish pop singer Susan Boyle

I just read a fantastic story on CNN that I would like to share.  The title of the article is "On the college gridiron, grandad lives a dream, offers a lesson."  61 year old Alan Moore is the football kicker at Faulkner University in Alabama.  Moore was a small town kid who began kicking at 12 years old. In high school his talent drew the attention of some of the biggest football universities.  He ended up going to a small college because his family could not afford the tuition. His team won the state championship his freshman year but Moore dropped out because the U.S. went to war in Vietnam.  He was assigned to the infantry unit and was shipped off for a year.  When he returned he began a career in construction and started a family.  He has three kids and five grand kids.  In 2009 the housing market crashed and 59 year old Alan Moore was laid off. In this tough time Moore moved back to Mississippi and decided he would play college football again.  It had been about forty years since he had kicked... Moore bought some old school football square-toed shoes and wrote the word "BELIEVE" across the front went to the field and got to work.

  Many people thought Moore was joking and laughed at him but "Moore welcomed the naysayers." There will always be people who will think you are crazy and try and put you down.  I almost feel like they see a light and want to put it out. Moore is quoted in the article saying "assholes are great motivators"

  Moore made the Faulkner University football team. He arrived at Faulkner with his workout gear and BELIEVE shoe. He was there to kick. On September 10th he became the oldest man to ever score a collegiate point. Moore says "I want to show  people that they can follow up on what their dream is or finish what they start." His teammates see the word BELIEVE written across his shoe and they understand the true value and meaning of the word.  Moore says that Believe is "probably the most powerful word in our vocabulary.

"CNN writer Eliott C. McLaughlin writes "Who couldn't admire a man who kicked in college, left to join the military, fought in Vietnam, worked in construction for almost 40 years, started a family, then went back to college to kick again when a tough economy snatched his job?" Alan Moore is proof that no matter how old you are or where life takes you if you have a dream and passion for something anything is possible.

Check out the article.
 http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/20/us/football-oldest-college-kicker/index.html?hpt=us_c1

 

Sorry it has been awhile since I have written but I will be writing soon about my future steps and everything that I have been up to in the U.S. We have a lot to catch up on!

"When all is said and done, it's not the shots that won the championship that you remember, but the friendships you made along the way." Unknown

My last game is Finland was great!The whole environment was awesome and there were over 600 people in the stands.  I like the feeling of playing in front of a lot of people. ONS is a good side but we were ready to compete and we set the level of intensity from the start. The game was pretty evenly matched but we created more opportunities throughout the game.  ONS had a few fast, skillful and crafty players but our entire team had a solid defensive performance and shut them down.  In the last five minutes of the game I took a free kick on their end. I took it, my teammates made some good runs, the keeper missed the ball and it ended up in the back of the net. It was not the prettiest goal but a wise person once told me "it doesn't have to be pretty, a goal is a goal."  We did not let up and won the game! It was a great team performance. Everyone all over the field played their role and executed well! Our goal at the beginning of the season was to be top 2 in the league, because of our win verse ONS we achieved our goal and ended up finishing second.  I was very proud of everyone. It was a well deserved!

After the game we went to this local school and had a sauna party.  Finland is famous for their saunas.  There was food at the school, we all took a sauna and swam.  On Sunday we had a going away dinner.  It was really nice and I enjoyed spending time with all my teammates.  Most of the team came to the apartment after dinner.  Goodbyes are never fun but I was so happy I got to meet and play with this group of girls.  This was a really special group.  I know that as time goes on I will not remember the stats or a score to a game, what I will remember is all the great people I met and all the great times I had with all of them. Thank you to my team and everyone I met in Finland who helped me create some amazing memories.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the road less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." Robert Frost

One practice, one game and five days left in Finland.. I am so excited to see my family again; I can not believe it is so soon.  Time goes by so fast.  I feel like it was just yesterday I was saying goodbye to my family at the Orlando Airport. The whole experience over here has been great.  I have enjoyed every second and really learned a lot both on and off the field. While I have been in Finland off the field I have seen reindeer, moose, gypsies, learned how to speak a lot of swedish, become a coffee drinker, ate salmiakki, become an expert bike rider, juggled in the marketplace, went to swedish school, meet so many great people and so much more.

 On the field I noticed that many players are very technical.  One thing that I think is wild is playing with players that can not speak a word of english.  I was thinking about one of the goals this girl Jenna scored two games ago and I remembered I had slid to get the ball on goal; the ball went off the post and Jenna finished it off.  After the goal she tackled me.  Jenna can not speak any English and we have not had one conversation but when we celebrated the goal we shared so much passion for the game. That passion was better than any conversation we could have had. We have not spoken a word to each other but are in love with the same game. It is bizarre but soccer really is a universal language; it is so much more than a game.

 

I'm looking forward to our last game this Saturday.  We are playing ONS; they are a really good side and if we win we have a chance of finishing second in the league.  There "is no tomorrow" after this game; literally. We have nothing to lose and are fit for the last fight together as a team. After the game on saturday we are having a sauna party with the team.  On Sunday we are having a team farewell dinner.  I am going to miss the girls.  Goodbyes are never fun but I know it will be a great weekend.

"Where the trails of passion and purpose meet, begins the path to victory"

After a rough game verse FC Sport we responded in a positive way and came out victorious against JyPk this past Saturday.  This was a very important game; we have not beat this team yet.  The first half was the best we had played all year. Every player was mentally and physically ready.  We were defending and attacking as one unit and connecting all over the field.  In the 20th minute our forward Tia, Linda and I combined, I made a run into the box and Linda chipped a perfect ball to me, I saw that the keeper was out and I chipped her.  I was so excited and my teammates rushed to celebrate with me! I feel as if I have lived this moment before. My adrenaline was pumping as I saw the ball hit the back of the net; it felt as if this were the first time I ever scored. We kept our focus and about five minutes after, Linda scored a great goal from outside the 18. Shortly after that I made a run into the box and got played a ball right across the six; I slide and the ball hit the post but Jenna was right there to finish it off.  I was on the ground and she tackled me in celebration. Jypk fought back and got a goal in the last minute of the half making it 3-1. 

In the second half we knew that JyPk was going to come out hard and hungry.  We held on and had a solid defensive performance.  Jamie made some good saves and our back four had a great game. About half way through the half  Tia (our forward) got played a ball through and scored.  The game ended at 4-1.  At the end of the game both teams  meet in the center circle, sometimes awards and prizes are given.  I got player of the game.  I was honored and excited but my team as a whole deserved that award this game.  Everyone had a great game and stepped up all over the field.

 This win was big and we are now tied for first.  There are only two games left, if we win the last two games we will stay in first no matter what. Our next game is not until a week from saturday.  We made a goal before this part of the season and we are very close to reaching it. We are going to continue to work hard in practice and prepare for the up and coming challenges. This team is really a great group.  I am proud to be apart of it!

"Its not about how hard you hit... Its all about how hard you get hit and keep moving forward." Rocky

In the movie Rocky I, Rocky is known as a small time boxer that is looked at as nothing but a bum. He works hard and ends up defeating heavyweight champion Apollo Creed. Rocky wins the heavyweight championship and has made a name for himself but in the beginning of the movie Rocky III, Rocky is overpowered by a stronger opponent (Lang).  He gets hit hard and knocked out in the second round...

In Saturday's game I got hit! In the last minute of the game, me and a girl from FC sport went up for a 50-50 ball and our heads collided.  I felt some pain but I got up.  I just wanted to finish the rest of the game out.  Lotta (our center back) told me I was bleeding and told me to stay down.  I heard her speak Finnish to the ref and I had to come off the field.  It was bleeding pretty bad but luckily I did not need stitches.

At the end of Rocky III, Rocky trains harder and meets Lang back in the ring.  He outboxes him and knocks him out in the third round.  Rocky got "hit" and kept "moving forward." I think that is an important statement; not just in sports but in life in general. 

We did not have our best game of the season and FC sport played very well on saturday.  It was not our day; Sport won deservingly. This is game is just a bump in the road and we are still in good standings. An old coach of mine told me you have 24 hours to think about a loss or celebrate a win.  After that it is time to move forward and focus on the next task.  There are three games left.  We have a strong team.  After a good week of practice we will be ready mentally and physically to take on JyPk on Sunday. We got "hit" but now its time to get ready to get back in the "ring."

"Winners don't wait for chances, they take them" Unknown

Our last game verse Kuusysi was dramatic! We started out the game strong and Linda scored a 30 yard bomb in the first 10 minutes of the game.  Kuusysi had very few opportunities and we created many chances throughout the half.  Everything was connecting.
 
In the second half Kuusysi fought back and scored a goal making it 1-1.  We continued to press and created many opportunities.  They had a few strong players but our defenders did extremely well shutting them down.  Getting one point for a tie would have been a good result for the game, but we do not play for a tie! In the 90th minute our outside back Heddi won the ball and hit a bending ball to the far post that resulted in an unbelievable goal.  She celebrated with both fists in the air and the whole team dog piled her.  It must have looked like we had won a world championship; it felt like it. The final whistle was blown and GBK was victorious.

I was proud of everyone on the team.  Everyone played a part in the victory. Now with our goals still in mind we have been preparing for our game on Saturday. This game is huge; if we win we will hold our first place position and will be at least four points ahead of everyone.  We are playing FC Sport at home!  Sport is a good side and they are going to be a good challenge. My team and I am fit for the fight!

In an off the field note life in Finland is going really well.  I have become a coffee drinker.  The Finns love coffee and on average they drink 5-6 cups a day. I did some research on how coffee effects an athletes body and I found that caffeine can enhance performance in endurance sports. It is known to increase respiratory functions and improve nervous system feedback.  I have become a regular at this local cafe in town; the workers now know my order.  It is called Media Cafe and the other Americans and I will meet there often for coffee and lunch.  It is a nice place and the people are so friendly.  I bring my computer and I write about my experiences, read, catch up on e-mails, and practice my swedish (rosetta stone). It is a nice place and a perfect spot!

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." Aristotle

Last Saturday we had an away game verse Viikingit.  We woke up early and took the train to Helsinki.  It is about a five hour train ride but I like taking the train; it is comfortable and its nice to see different parts of the country.  Everyone was excited for the game and eager to get the three points.  We arrived to Helsinki and were ready for the fight physically and mentally.
 
The game started and we ended up giving up an early goal but that didn't stop us.  The whole team continued to press and Tia finished one off.  It was a good goal and a great ball making it 1-1.  We worked together as one unit and kept Viikingit on their half.  Shortly before the half Tia received another great ball, she was composed and found the back of the net making it 2-1.

 In the second half things seemed to just click, we limited Viikingit's chances and created numerous opportunities with our combination play.  The passing and movement off the ball was extremely good at times.  The score remained 2-1 and we came home with the three points that we wanted!

We are only two games into the series but as of right now we are in a strong position with 7 points and are now in first place.  We have another away game near Helsinki this Saturday and we are going for nothing less than a win. Everyone on the team has a really good attitude and we are focused on our goal.

I have to say I have been really enjoying the soccer in Finland.  I really look forward to every time I get to step out on the field and every game.  I almost feel as if I am a little kid again because I get so excited over the smallest things.  Below is a video of some of my favorite speeches in movies.  It is different people doing the unthinkable.  I can be kind of corny sometimes but I love stuff like this.  There should be more of it.

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. ~T.S. Eliot

This past Saturday was the start to the second half of the season. I had a good feeling before the game.  We had a strong, good week of practice and with our goals in mind we were prepared for the fight. 

  When we were walking out with the other team at the start of the game I heard some of TuWe's players on the other team say something about Americans.  I don't know a lot of Finnish but I knew they were talking about us.  I just smiled and in our team huddle on the field I told the girls what I had heard.  They told me that they were talking about the Americans and the Swedish speaking people on our team. I have been learning swedish so I guess I am at a real disadvantage. I am an American that can speak Swedish.   It is crazy to me how people are towards us because we all do not speak Finnish.  It just added more fuel for the fire. 

 The game started out good; everyone was clicking and our passes were connecting.  We scored two goals in the first half.  Linda scored a nice goal off of a half volley and then our youngest player (Totti) finished off of a cross.  We created numerous scoring opportunities throughout the game and limited TuWe's chances.  In the 80th minute TuWe had a corner; Jamie did a good job boxing it away and then smothered the ball.  A girl on TuWe ran into Jamie and fell over her after she had the ball.  The ref called a PK.. It was the worst call that I have ever seen!! I have never seen anything like this before.  Everyone was freaking out! Despite the adversity we continued to fight and keep TuWe on their defensive third.  The game ended 2-1.  A great victory and a well played match.  Now its back to another good week of training to prepare for our game on Saturday.  

88%

 People are always asking about "my story." They always ask "Why do you play the game?" This was an essay question I got in a coaching class at Florida Southern last year.  I was recently contacted by a reporter in my hometown wanting to write about my story and how I got to Finland.  Here is what I wrote for my essay (with a few additions) and here is what I sent the reporter in an e-mail. This is the link to what the reporter wrote. http://gazettenet.com/2011/08/10/039soccer-saved-my-life039



The question is what does soccer mean to me.  The real question should be what doesn't soccer mean to me?  It is the reason I was in school, it has given me a job, it has created my longest lasting relationships and allowed me to go to places that I never thought I could.  I am playing professionally and when I am done playing I am going to create my own soccer club and give back what was given to me.  Soccer is just a game, but to me it is so much more.  Why do I play the game?  The first thing that pops into my head when I hear this question is a conversation I had with my doctor last summer.  Very few people have ever asked me this question but to know why I play you have to know my story.  One day I am going to write a book about my experiences but here is a sneak peak.

Where do I start? I guess I can start at birth.  The first thing in my incubator was a soccer ball.  I was premature; only four pounds and spent the beginning of my life in NICU with a poor prognosis.  I had four exchange transfusions at birth and survived.  Even back then I knew how to fight.

I started playing when I was in kindergarten; my dad was my first coach.  I played in Easthampton, Southampton and for Hampshire United.  Those days I had no worries; I was just another happy go lucky kid without a care in the world. When I was in fourth grade I became extremely ill; I lost a lot of weight fast, my throat was on fire, I had a non-stop cough and I was in constant excruciating pain.  No doctor could figure out what was wrong.  I went from not having a care in the world to being thankful if I woke up the next day.  My prognosis was always low.  Two years later Dr. Paul Salva figured out I had aspiration reflux; every time I ate, the food would come back up and go into my lungs.  Dr. Salva is the reason I am still here right now.  He told me that my case kept him up at night; many people gave up on me but he never did.  I had to have surgey right away; it was a success but there were a ton of side effects from all the testing and previous treatments.  I was 47 pounds in sixth grade, my lungs were damaged, I developed severe asthma, I had osteoporosis and I do not have tonsils anymore because of the stomach acid coming up. At half times of games I would have to take a nebulizer treatments and there were countless emergency room trips.  When I got a cold it was always 10x worse because my lungs were so bad; one time I did not know I had the flu; it went straight to my lungs and I stopped breathing at a tournament in Virginia.  The doctors told me that I was very lucky to be here today; I can not tell you how many times I have heard that statement.  I know I have an extra lobe of lung on my right side and I think that has helped me survive as much as I have.  I missed almost two years of school; I did all my work in the hospital and never had to stay back.  I hated being sick and I just wanted to be was a normal kid

I started to play soccer again.  Many doctors said I probably will never make it very far in any sport but I played anyway and began to love it.  I would practice everyday, it got my mind off of everything that had happened.  I would push through any pain that I had.  There were times where I would play in horrible conditions and literally collapse on the field.  I try very hard not to show my pain; most of the time no one knows if i'm hurting  I have learned to ignore all the different pains.  So many doctors have told me you are lucky to be here and you will never play full on soccer again.  I refused to listen and kept playing and dreamt of playing in college, and professionally; I could see it.  There were a tons of doubters.  So many coaches, teachers and doctors told me it will never happen and that my dreams are silly.  I should just be happy to go to school.  I refused to believe anyone.

In 7th grade I made Junior Varsity at Hampshire Regional and started playing club soccer for Sunfoot.  Chris Monterio was the coach.  I was playing two age groups up but then in eighth grade my surgery came undone... I went downhill fast.  The coughing came back, the fire in my throat came back, all the pain came back and I dropped down to 67 pounds.  I had the surgery again and started to get stronger. The summer of my eighth grade year I went to Soccerplus camps at Williston Northampton school. I had been going to the same camp since I was 12.  It is an incredible camp with a great culture.  I met Tony Dicicco; the US women's national team coach from 96-99.  He recruited me to his club team and told me all my dreams were more than possible and he was going to help me get there.  At first I did not think I could play for his club because club soccer can be a lot of money that my family did not have; Tony gave me a job and a scholarship to play for him. 
 
The surgery came undone again in tenth grade. The symptoms came back and I had to get it again.  I missed at least two months of school every year.  Every time I had to have the surgery it was longer and I was in more pain.  The last surgery was over 10 hours. I need the surgery to live. Every time the surgeon talked to me he would say things like we did it just in time.   I hated being sick; I just wanted to be was a normal kid.  I was worried Tony would not want me on his team after finding out I had to have surgery again, but he kept me on his team.  Tony and the whole Soccerplus staff were always so supportive and were willing to do anything to help me  reach my goals.



I started to get strong again and I started to get noticed by the top soccer colleges in the country; I could not believe something this great was happening to me.  I went from not thinking I would not make it to the next day to having so many colleges knocking at my door. I decided to go to Florida. Because of everything I had been through, my lungs were damaged and I did not do well in the cold.  There were many times where I was only functioning and playing with only 40% of my lungs.  Dr. Salva wrote us a prescriptions to leave Mass and go to Florida many times; I did better in the humidity. I choose to go to Florida Southern and my lungs started to heal.  I got off almost all of my medicine and it felt so good to be able to breath all year long.

At Florida Southern I have my best memories on and off the field.  The girls on my team became my family and are some of the greatest people that I have ever met.  At the time I have never felt so close to a group of people.  On January 6th, the start of the spring my Freshman year I experienced one of the worst things that I think could ever happen...I lost a teammate.  We had twins on my team there names were Melissa and Meghan Kelly.  They were driving to school and a semi ran a red light and hit them head on.  Melissa survived but Meghan passed away. One day you wake up and everything is fine..  The next your world is turned upside down.  My team and I were devastated; I cant even explain the sadness I felt.  I felt like there was a hole in my heart and I began to question a lot.. I asked "why?" Why did I survive my illness but she did not make it? I began to feel selfish for thinking about my past. I was barley hanging on, what makes me so special?  Soccer is just a game.  I would give up everything to have her back. I was depressed for a long time.  My team stuck together and we pulled through together as one team and one family.  The next year I was awarded the scholarship in her name...  I had a hard time excepting it but I am so honored that the family choose me..Im speechless.  The Kelly family is so strong and I am so grateful for the time that I had with Meghan.  I try to give it my all every day and am so grateful for everything that I have. I play for something greater than myself everyday.  I know life is too short.  I always play outside of my comfort zone.  On the field I feel like the field is my stage and its my time to perform.  

I played for Chris Bart Williams for Soccerplus CT in the WPSL; the semi pro league. Two summers ago Chris met with me and told me he wanted to send me out to Boston to play for the Aztecs last summer. I would have the opportunity to train with the Breakers there and it would get me ready for the league when I graduate.  He told me I am meant to play this game.  I could not believe it.  Last  summer I lived the dream; my team was all college prospects and I got invited to train with the Breakers.  It was incredible but that was the least of my excitement.  In the middle of the summer I went to my pulmonologist for a usual lung check up.  He did a lung function test on me as always.  I waited in the waiting room; he came in and flipped way back in my chart and said "you know I used to be happy when your lungs were at 48 percent.  Two years ago you were at 68 percent, last year you were at 76 percent which is good but not great... This year you are at 88 percent."  He said I never thought I would ever see your lungs this good.  It is truly a miracle and he got up and gave me a hug.  I was driving to Boston after that appointment; thinking about everything and I started to cry.  My lungs are at 88 percent and I am on my way to make my dream happen.  I don't know which news I was happier about.  I was more excited about 88 percent than training with the Breakers.  I have worked for everything that I have.  I gained all the muscle I have back, my bones are strong and my lungs are at a B+. My doctor told me that he thinks that the only reason I have lived through everything is because I kept playing.  Soccer basically saved my life.  Playing made me strong!!

After my last college season.  I got a text from my Boston Aztec coach Dushawne Simpson asking me if I was interested in going to play professionally in Finland.  I said, "Why not?" I began talking with coaches from a few different countries, I talked with Tony and I thought playing in Finland would be a perfect starting place for me.  I signed with GBK.  I graduated from Florida southern May 1st and I left on a plane for Finland May 3rd. So far it has been an amazing experience.  My team is really clicking and bonding; we are having a great season.  I am living the dream. I went from not knowing If I was going to see another day to chasing my dream.  Who would of thought? I'm just a small town kid from southampton Massachusetts.  There is nothing better than knowing that you are waking up every morning and getting paid to put on your soccer cleats and kick around a ball.  It is hard to me to think of my job as a "job." I'm enjoying every second.  

Many People said I was too small and that my dreams were to big. Tony wrote me a quote in an e-mail one time that has always stuck with me "toughness is not measured in size...but the size of ones heart."  I have probably failed more than I succeeded and been cut from more teams than I have made, but the success I have had and the teams I have made have been greater than anything I have ever expected.  I have always seen a reason for everything that has happened in my life and I would not change anything.    

I always had a dream.  No matter who tells you its silly or trys to put you down you should never give up.  There will always be doubters, but the doubters just make it more fun to prove everyone wrong.  I have never talked about my illness and my experiences before. I recently started to tell people at the end of my college career. Very few people really know the details about my past.  The people that do know are the ones I trust the most.  I do not like to talk about my experiences because I was afraid that people would look down on me; think I was weak, treat me differently and not let me play. Now I hope that this will help someone else and one day I will write a book about all of my experiences.  It doesn't matter what I have been through but all I know is that I know who I am. I know that nothing will stop me achieving my dreams.  I was worried that asthma and reflux defined me.  I did not want people to think that is who I am; I did not want to be the "sick" girl.  That is not my definition anymore.  I remember waking up everyday just happy to be alive; to be able to see one more day.  Now I can breath!  Its hard to explain but taking a taking a deep breath is one of my favorite things to do.

 I train everyday pushing myself so hard because to me I knew that everyday was special. I feel like an oddball at times but  I never knew if it would be my last. I feel like the odds will always be against you but Life is to short to hold back. Try new things; dare to dream.  Being outside in the yard by myself practicing  was the only thing that made me feel good; it got my mind off of everything that had happened.  No matter how much pain I am in, it is the one place that puts my mind at ease.  It was my getaway. The question is why do I play the game? I play because it gets my mind off of anything bad that has ever happened; it is mentally cleansing.  I always feel good after I play.  I train everyday because I want to be the one to make the difference when it counts the most.  I want to make everyone on the field look good and be the go to player. My contract ends mid October.. I don't know where I will be after the season or what will happen but all I know is that I am in the right place right now and what ever happens is meant to happen. I have already beaten the odds by just living now I have the opportunity to do something special.  

Fit for the Fight

Before my first game in Finland, Heddi (one of the girls on my team) comes up to me and asks "Are you fit?" I thought to myself, of course I am fit! I take great pride in my fitness.  She then says "Are you fit for the fight?" Now I understood what she was asking...

We have hit a bit of a rough patch in our season. The results have not gone our way the past few games. The first half of the season has ended and now the groups are reshuffled.  Our league is broken up into two groups. Now the top four teams from each group forms Group A and the bottom 4 teams from each group forms Group B.  We are in the top 4.   We had a team meeting this past Wedensday and we decided on a team goal.  Our goal is to be in the top 2 at the end of the season. We have a strong team and our goal is more than possible.  We just need to continue to work hard day in and day out; leaving everything on the field.

Today was our last game for the first half of the season.  We had a home game verse FC Sport and we were all "fit for the fight." Everyone was thinking about our new goal and wanted to finish this first part of the season strong. It was raining the whole game.  I think it is fun to play in the rain.  Sport scored early but we responded right away to make it 1-1 and then we scored another right before the half ended. Both of our goals had great build ups and were nice finishes.  In the second half I took a corner; the ball was scrambling around in the box but Tessa managed to find the back of the net making it 3-1.  Sport came back and scored one more goal making it 3-2.  It was a close game but we faught hard and we faught together as one team.  The win felt good and it was nice ending on a positive note going into the second half of the season.

Now it is time to prepare!! With our goals in mind, its time to get fit for the next and upcoming fights! 

“If you have high expectations, you raise your level. If you have positive expectations, very often it happens. I try to coach what is healthy instead of trying to say, ‘fix the mistakes.’ It’s OK to make a mistake and I think that was an important statement, that the biggest mistake you can make is that you don’t try.” Pia Sundhage USA Women's National team Head Coach

A few weeks ago I looked at my calendar and I saw that I had a long weekend the same weekend as the World Cup Final.  Every soccer players dream is to play in this game; the next best thing is to watch it live!  Germany is only a two hour flight away from Finland so I looked up tickets and I booked it! I figured this was an amazing opportunity. 

 

Jamie and I flew out to Germany Friday morning and we met up with two of my Swedish friends (Helena and Martina) in Frankfurt. The whole experience was one that I will never forget.  I was so happy Martina, Helena, and Jamie got to come as well.  We had so much fun.  It was really neat Martina and I were at the final together because her Freshman year we made up goals and wrote them down.  Our goals consisted of playing professionally together,  making our country's national teams (USA and Sweden) and the last was to meet in the World Cup final; it was anyone's game from there... We met in Germany at the final! We saw Sweden and the USA play. It is funny how life is sometimes.. You really never know where you will end up.

I still have this paper and I truly believe that if you write your goals down you increase your odds on making your dream happen. 

 On Saturday Sweden and France battled it out in the bronze medal game.  We were all decked out in Swedish gear and we went to the fan zone to watch the game.  At the fan zone they had many different activities, at least three stages, giant big screen projectors, and food everywhere.  There were so many people there.  We got perfect seats and we met lots of new friends.  The Sweden game was intense! We were yelling the whole time.  Sweden deservingly captured the bronze medal.  Everyone was celebrating and shortly after the game ended the bands started playing, DJs popped up, there were shows, and fireworks.  We walked around proudly wearing our Swedish Jerseys and people everywhere where cheering and celebrating when they saw us. The euphoria, the excitement, the passion and the whole surroundings of the world cup was incredible! This day counts as one of my favorite days.

 

Sunday was the big day.. The World Cup Final!! I wore my red, white and blue and had an American flag.  We get to the stadium and I could feel my heart pounding.  Our seats were perfect we were about 10 rows up from the corner flag.  The stadium was sold out.  The atmosphere was incredible; the sound of the crowd, the numerous Japanese and American fans, the field and just the game itself is hard to describe because it was so great.  It was a great game to watch; my heart was going so fast I felt like I was playing.  I was out of my seat for a lot of the game and when Abby Wambach scored in overtime to make it 2-1 I thought my heart was going to stop.  Then when the Japanese tied it up on the corner kick; it was hard for me not to celebrate for them because it was such an amazing goal. I don't know how she managed to get her body on
that ball.  Its in these moments you see athletes do the unthinkable; they go that one extra degree to make it happen.  That extra degree makes all the difference.  Its incredible to experience and amazing to watch.  Sadly the US lost in PKs but I was happy for Japan.  Both teams fought hard and played like champions.  The ceremony at the end was amazing.  Once Japan had the trophy in their hands they ran around the stadium showing the fans and the world what they accomplished.  Watching them celebrate with such joy and passion was unbelievable. I had the chills.

 

NO. 48 Probability of Success: Excellent You have both birds already in hand. You shall inherit the entire land. Give a good show before the grandstand. All will applaud, so will the brass band.

This past christmas I brought my family to New York City to see a broadway show.  We left our house really early in the morning and spent the whole day in New York City.  It was so much fun and it will always be known as one of my favorite days.  I brought them to China town and we went into this buddha temple.  They had fortune cookies, so everyone in my family bought one.  My fortune was NO. 48...

On Wednesday I juggled in the market place.  I got there a little early to claim a "spot."  I was on a platform.  The marketplace was jammed packed; there were so many people. I had my ball, a pretty big boom box, and a hat for tips.  The first show started at 5.  Jamie cranked up the music and I started to juggle.  When I juggle all I see is the ball and I hear the beat; I don't see anyone around me and I rarely hear anything else.  It is hard to explain, but about 20 seconds into my routine I hear Jamie's voice and she said, "Oh my god, so many people are coming! Keep going, keep going.. More people are coming!" I juggled for about 15 minutes and when I looked up there was a huge crowd.  It was incredible! So many people were coming up and throwing euros in my hat. 

The next show I moved and performed to the side of another stage where this band was setting up.  The drummer was working with the sound guy, making sure each section of his drum was in tune.  I started juggling to his beat; they saw me and kept on drumming.  The beat was perfect and everything just seemed to flow.  It was great and total street. The crowds continued to grow.

I did the rest of my shows back on the platform. I did not stop juggling till about 8.  I took some breaks but I had so many shows.  Jamie and Kerstin were great with the crowd; they were yelling the whole time and got the crowd to clap to the beat constantly. A lot of my teammates, some of the guys on the men's team and many of my new friends were there watching.  It was the first time they all got to really see all of my tricks at once and I was so happy I got to perform for them.   During my break I started picking out kids and teaching them how to do different tricks; I was pretty impressed with a few of them.  Every time I took a break; I saw more and more people waiting at the bottom of the platform for the next show, it was really neat. I did not think my juggling could cause this much of a commotion.

When I used to go to the beach with my family I would always bring my soccer ball.   When sunset hit I would start juggling and I would draw a bunch of crowds.  My parents told me to put out a hat but I was to shy. Now I am over my shyness and this past Wednesday turned into a day I will never forget.  I was not sure if people would really stop and watch me but it ended up being above and beyond what I expected.

 I keep thinking about my fortune in New York. I had "both birds in one hand" my ball and my music. "You shall inherit the entire land," I felt like the whole town was there watching. "Give a good show before the grandstand.  All will applaud, so will the brass band," I juggled to the "brass" drums, my hat was full and the people were all cheering. I felt like I was in one of my dreams but this was better...