"Standing - frozen in the life I've chosen. You won't find me, the past is so behind me. Buried in the snow Let it go, let it go Can't hold it back anymore"

A mini “highlight reel…”

Disney 2005

I am at the college showcase with Soccerplus. We are playing at the Wild World of Sports.  Every college scout from my dream school is at this game. I combine with one my teammates. She plays a perfect ball in the air, into the box.  Everything freezes. I do a bicycle kick. I hit the ball just right.  I’m on the ground watching the ball roll into the back of the net.  I let it go.. My arms are in the air and my teammates are rushing to me.

Florida Southern 2008

We are in overtime against St. Leo; a team that Florida Southern has NEVER beaten before. It is 2-2.  I am dribbling in their attacking half. Our midfielder, Christina Crooks plays a perfect ball to our attacking midfielder, Erin Hopkins who is making an attacking run into the box. Erin back heels the ball to our forward, Princess Haley.  Princess strikes the ball. I stand there frozen, everything stops around me, and every thing is quiet. Then that ball goes upper 90 and hits the back of the net.  We let it go.  We won the game and the coaches, fans and alumni crash the field!!

Soccerplus CT Reds 2009

We are playing the Boston Aztecs at home. I am playing with a giant cast on a broken arm. It is 1-1.  I make a run in behind the back 4, a perfect ball is played, and the Aztec goalkeeper is coming out to meet me… I am running but everything freezes. Instead of shooting I cut the ball back one touch to our forward who now has a wide open net. The ball hits the back of the net and we let it go in celebration.

Boston Aztecs/Boston Breakers 2010

 I am at Harvard training with the Breaker Reserves.  At the end of the training the assistant coach of the Breakers comes up to me. “Can you stay and train with the Breakers” I freeze.  I can’t speak. All I can do is nod. My heart is so full and feels like it is going to fall out.  “Go with Jenny to get practice gear.” I am still frozen. I can’t believe it. I am walking to the locker room just looking down and Jenny says to me “Are you ok?” “Breath!!” She hands me the training gear. I am in the locker room. “Stay here for a second, take a deep breath, and come out when you are ready” A dream come true.. I am about to train with a team and players I dreamed about playing with since I was 12. I am all geared up, look in the mirror, take a deep breath and I let it go!!

 Finland 2011

We are playing away.  I combine with a teammate; our central midfielder Linda Nyman chips a perfect ball into the box for me to run on to. The goalkeeper is coming out. The ball is bouncing. Everything freezes… I chip the goalkeeper. My adrenaline is pumping as I watch the ball hit the back of the net. I let it go!! My arms are up in celebration as my teammates tackle me!!

Tyreso 2013

The Tyreso TikiTaka Camp included the most amazing staff that you could ever imagine, including the A players themselves; Marta, Seger, Vero, Press, Dala, Meghan, Line, Sempan, etc. I directed this camp. My vision came to life.  The first day everyone is lined up, the kids are in the stands, the excitement is outrageous. They have been given the opportunity to train with the best female soccer players in the world first hand!! We head to the small field, 12 staff coaches, 18 A team world class players and 150 campers. I am frozen in the moment. All eyes on me, everyone has a ball, I have a ball. I let it go!!

I am about to coach U12 boy’s team in Vendelso.  Borje (my boss at TikiTaka) meets me at the field. “How would you like to play for Tyreso?” Frozen again, just nodding my head. “I would love that.” To be apart of the best team and club in the world and have the opportunity to train with the best players in the world was beyond my wildest dreams.  I ran the session in Vendelso with Tyreso on my mind. I go on the bus still “Frozen” but so full at the same time. I call Borje and tell him “Thank you! I just can’t believe it.”

Djurgarden 2014

We are playing at home at beautiful Stockholm’s Stadion.  It is my first start in the Elitettan. We are playing against Alta and Melanie; my little sister is there to watch.  It is the first half. We win the ball in the final third.  I have the ball at my feet, the space opens up and I take it. I strike the ball with my left foot. Everything freezes, my heart stops, the ball goes upper 90 and hits the back of the net.  I let it go. I am running in celebration with my arms in the air and Melanie got see it!! It was a moment of complete joy.

The Frozen Moment

 I recently took a spontaneous trip to Frankfurt Germany to visit Vero and watch her play in Champions league. It was such a great weekend!!! On the way back I had a 6-hour layover in Paris. I decided to go into the city. I take the train and when I step off the train I am “Frozen” again by what I saw.  I was looking at Notre Dame. This structure made my heart stop. I was in complete awe; I had never seen anything like it… 

I could go on and on about these “Frozen moments” I have experienced.  Many of these moments happen outside the lines as well.   Maybe it is a new crush. Maybe you have met someone so great they “freeze” you and are searching for words. It can be when you are meeting someone new or the moment before you tell someone you love them for the first time. It could be a building, a place, a team, a person, an artist, a song, a selfless act, a conversation, or any beauty that makes you stop in complete awe because of the greatness and beauty it possesses.

 That frozen moment before something great is about to happen is what I live for.  It is that moment before... Where everything gets quiet…   In soccer for me, that frozen moment comes right before the whistle blows to start the game, when the ball hits the back of the net, when arms are in the air in celebration and that rush of my team and the crowd.   It is almost like everything gets quiet, and you are thinking about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary. These moments make you feel alive.   

I can be so amazed by many things.  When that happens it is like I see nothing else. So, just like in the movie Frozen do not be afraid to “Let it Go” take the chance and jump into something great!!